Everyone loves the new and shiny. Loads of people get a thrill from trying something different all of the time. They have to be constantly moving, constantly changing. At first being with a person like this may seem appealing, but beware. When the excitement of the new relationship fades, so may their interest in you. Everyone needs to date of few of those people. A few people who are so excited and passionate about everything that you cannot help but be sucked into it as well. You know the type. Preferably you date these people in college when you are young and relationships that do not go the distance are the norm. These people often are the type that have huge, passionate blow ups followed by intense make up periods. But all of the passion may not bode well for a long future.
1. They are flighty.
In every long relationship there comes a time where you just do not feel that overwhelming desire for the person you are with. Maybe because they are not being the Casanova you began dating or because you are distracted with a months-long work project. Whatever the case they have to be willing to stick around when the flame starts to flicker a little. Being so in love it makes other people cringe is great at the moment, but after time most people realize that the kind of love that comes with familiarity is equally satisfying. The people who may not come to the realization? Well those are the exact people you see chasing their new dream wherever it takes them.
2. The person they are today may not be the person they are tomorrow.
These people are always chasing the next big thing. They are constantly aspiring to be relevant to the world around them. This may mean they are super into technology for a year and then BAM now they want to live off the grind in Alaska. Do you want to never know what kind of person you are going to be in a relationship with? What if you seriously hate the whatever their new phase is but you have been together for three years and do not want to abandon that time commitment? It is fine to incorporate new things in your life. The key to that is to incorporate them into your regular life, not obsessively morph into a new person with every new hobby. This type of person is not capable of that.
3. They are too interested in themselves to ever be interested enough in you.
You know the type. Whatever they are doing is so much more interesting than anything you could possibly have going on. Your spawn-of-satan boss and their most recent tirade will not matter to them. Not when they found the greatest band ever today while driving to the store. They are too busy figuring out how to chase them on tour to listen to you vent out your hum drum day-to-day frustrations. Always being second in a relationship is rough. Don’t do that to yourself. You are awesome and anyone you are dating better agree with that. No one who is that interested in everything else should be in any serious relationship. That are not ready for it.
4. Stability leads to satisfaction.
We all get envious of those people because we believe they are living the most fulfilling lives. Maybe they are for them. I am someone however who thrives on security and comfort. I used to be drawn to the free spirits of the world, the ones who gave society the middle finger. But I am here to tell you I am the happiest I have ever been coming home and watching one of the same four channels in my sweat pants day in and day out with the most caring, loyal, strong person I know.
He is not the person to fight the system all the time or to take off his family to chase a new dream. Sure he has interests and hobbies but he makes sure his family and other responsibilities are taken care of first and foremost. Because he is an adult he chooses to pick his battles wisely. With plenty of thought and knowledge behind them. He does not live on the edge so far he is bound to fall off one day. That is one of the reasons I love him.
I know that when I am being unreasonable I can count on him to be my sounding board. When I have something terrible happen I will never have to question if he will be too busy running wild to be there for me. I know that when all I want to buy at the store is cookies and ice cream he is not going to let me. He wants me to live to see 50. Those things hold far more romance to me now than a few grand romantic gestures thrown in with a lot of let downs and little real support.
Get what you deserve!
If you are a focused, driven adult, then dating someone who is always chasing the new will you result in you feeling more like their parent than their equal. You cannot trust a four-year-old to eat nutritional meals and go to bed before ten o’clock. You also cannot trust this person to help you develop long-term goals, like planning your retirement. No that is not exciting, but it is completely necessary. If you have to explain to them the finer points of why having a job that offers health insurance with vision and dental is the ultimate goal, then take that as a sign of the type of person you are working with.
So go ahead and date the person you know will never have a retirement plan. Marry them if after a few years the fire has not begun to flicker. Maybe you love the constant adventure as much as they do. For some it lasts. But if you are like me don’t overlook the person who is content with simple. They may surprise you and bring you all the happiness in the world.